Monday, November 11, 2013

The Most Loathed Question of my Classroom

Being that I teach a "foreign" language in an ego-centric country that does not stress the importance of taking part in other cultures but boasts of being "the melting pot"- one would think that the most loathed question I could hear would be "does it have to be in Spanish?" I understand this question because it is steeped in the acculturation of "american" students growing up in the post 9-11 era.

No, the question I most loathe is: Is this going to be graded? Every time I hear it, it grates on my nerves. I've heard it at least once a week since I began teaching and I believe back in the early days of my career I was annoyed by it for very different reasons. There were many times I would bite back a sarcastic "what do you think, dummy? It's school." But other times,  I would answer "obviously" with an annoyed tone and an internal eye roll.



However this past week, when my students were taking a "pre-quiz" on a grammatical concept, I was asked the question again. The students were taking a pre-quiz on the chromebooks so I could quickly grade it in class and let them see their results. It was a starter activity meant to activate past knowledge and spark conversation about what each student remembered. I heard many amazing conversations happening as the students started working on it. Past students of mine were explaining (or trying to explain) the concept how I explained it last year. Kids were debating on what the answer might be as they filled out their multiple choice quiz. My response to the question was a bit evasive and incomplete: yes, I'm going to grade it right now. I walked over to the computer and loaded the script Flubaroo to my Google spreadsheet. The program graded the quizzes for me and I emailed their grades within a minute. So indeed it was graded, but I also knew what had really been wondering: is this going to "count" although therein lies another question entirely.

Later, after a review lesson and some class practice, they were once again taking a chromebook quiz and once again, a student asked "is this going to be graded" and it grated on my nerves. Only this year, the question bothers me more than it ever did. This year, in that moment, I had a pedagogical and physical cringe. I put my hand on my head in frustration and exclaimed: Why can't it just be about the learning?

I was frustrated with the question because it speaks volumes to what we are doing to our students. It speaks to the fact that we are teaching them that life is only about the number. We are teaching them to play the game of grades rather than actually learn something. We are teaching them that all they are and ever will be is a number. We are teaching them that something isn't worth doing if they are not being graded, if it doesn't "count". We are teaching them that unless I grade them, they don't count.

A student responded to my question. "Of course the learning counts, but you know that grades are important to us too because that's what gets us in trouble." And of course one student generously added that I "could give us all hundreds so we don't have to worry about it."

In that moment, I was hurt. My heart hurt. I ached for what we've done to them and will continue to do to them and I was ashamed for the role I play in these lessons.

I want my students to simply learn and explore themselves. I don't want to be forced to label them with a number since I know how deeply that number influences their own self-image. However, in order to attend college, they have to have grades and they must be good for this college or that scholarship. I want my students to have good jobs and be successful and I know education is the key to this and education is currently run by numbers.

I understand their parents want the same thing but I beg parents to not make the be all and end all of your child's existence revolve around grades. Is your child a hard worker? Does your child have a kind heart? Does your child commit to something and follow through? Please reward these as fiercely, or fiercer, as you do the grades. Do not allow the government and our current public education rhetoric to reduce your child to a number.

And so in writing this, I have devised the perfect plan for answering this question when it comes up in the future. First, I will take a breath. Second, I will remind myself that these students have grown up in a tumultuous time in our history in which everything and everyone is being evaluated and labeled with numbers and that they are victims of this vicious system that I fight every day. Third, I will reply honestly and without sarcasm. I will either say "I will be grading this but it will not be calculated into your average; it's just for practice so you can see where you stand" or "Yes, I will be grading this and it will be calculated into your average, but that number will not define who you are or what I think of you. Only your actions and your heart can change that."

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