What Matters

When my mother passed away in April of 2010, it fell up on my sister, my niece and myself to clean out her house. The task of undoing someone's life and deciding if their knickknacks are meaningless to you or not is extremely daunting. She had a house full of belongings she thought treasured. It was so packed with things that our shock and disbelief at her death turned into anger and rage as we discovered thing after thing that she had saved.

The more we cleaned, the more we found and the angrier we became. I believe we ended up getting rid of a lot of things that perhaps, now, I'd want but it is too late for that. As we emptied out my mother's life and pulled apart her existence, we found many things that were expected and many that were not. The numerous school projects and photos were lovely to find. However, the drawer of every pen or pencil we've ever owned was extreme. We found a bag of bags and a suitcase with another suitcase inside with another bag inside of that and smaller bags inside that with yet smaller bags inside them.

Being a Teacher

I visited Howe Caverns when I was five or six years old and I saw a book with a picture of a monster on it. The book was less than half a centimeter thick with a green border and I was fascinated. My mother purchased the book for me and I took it home to show my father. I sat with my father and we read the book together and I began learning all about dinosaurs. For about four years, I was obsessed with dinosaurs. My father took me on fossil hunts run through the state museum. My mother bought me every book she could find on dinosaurs. I amassed a bag of dinosaur figures, large and small. For about four years, my parents probably thought I would grow up to be a paleontologist.

I am not sure when that interest died out, perhaps when my friends started playing with Barbies or when I found Charmkins or She-RA. But when my students ask me why I wanted to be a teacher, I cannot say "I always wanted to be a teacher" because there were those four years when I dreamt of dinosaurs. However, I thoroughly remember enjoying telling everyone about dinosaurs. I knew all the different kinds and how big they were and what they ate. I loved telling my grandmother about them or talking about them at show and tell. So perhaps I really did always want to be a teacher.